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- Ranee Parker

The joy of travel

The joy of travel

hursday night

9:54 p.m. - set alarm for 4:00 a.m., the pre-determined wake up time after carefully calculating how long it takes to get ready, complete last minute packing, and travel to the airport. Estimated arrival time at the airport: 5:30. Flight departure time: 6:54. Set!

10:13 p.m. - climb into bed. Feeling ready. Check alarm is still set for 4:00 a.m. because the irrational side of my brain decides it's possible my phone has been hacked in the last half hour and the prankster hacker may have shut off my alarm. Good news! No sign of hackers. Alarm is still set for the perfectly-calculated time.

12:00 a.m. - Irrational side wakes me up in a panic--did I miss my flight? No, it's still sleep time. Better check my alarm one more time in case Apple has suddenly caved under the pressure of losing Steve Jobs two years ago and all iPhone alarms cease to function. Okay, nope. Everything is fine. Steve Jobs' legacy remains in perfect functioning condition. 

*****
Friday morning

4:00 a.m. - alarm goes off at the perfectly-calculated time as scheduled. Steve Jobs is still resting in peace. Climb out of bed and start preparing for a day of travel. Suddenly recall the scene from Sex and the City where Carrie tells the girls she can't have another drink because she wants to arrive in Paris looking impossibly fresh. Change my mind on what I planned to wear; re-pack suitcase to accommodate new outfit choice.

4:30 a.m. - decide it's probably a good idea to change my shoe choice for the day also. Can I fit another pair of shoes in my suitcase? Yes! Done! Make mental note to send a thank-you card to Heys for creating luggage with the ability to increase capacity by 25%. 

5:00 a.m. - exactly as planned, I'm ready to go. Better eat a banana and grab a Gatorade so I can hydrate for the flight. 

5:15 a.m. - get in the car and drive to the airport. Hmm...seems I may have miscalculated my timing a bit. Delusional side of my brain says, "Don't worry! You have plenty of time!" Check the gas gauge, realize I probably should have filled the tank last night. Oh well. I'm sure I have enough gas to get there. 

5:45 a.m. - arrive at the airport park. Rational brain is fighting with delusional brain over the possibility of missing my flight. Delusional brain wins because rational brain doesn't like to seem irrational. Car park guy says shuttle will be another 10 minutes. Rational brain checks the clock again in fear, kind heart tells car park guy, "No worries!", delusional brain tells rational brain it worries too much. 

6:00 a.m. - arrive at airport. Shuttle driver was entertaining. Asked me to not do cartwheels in the aisle. Wait in line to check-in for flight. Rational brain is pretty sure I will miss my flight but isn't into gloating so keeps her mouth shut. Delusional brain is busy thinking about how great coffee would be right about now. 

6:20 a.m. - finally get through lineup and arrive at check-in desk. Give check-in guy my passport. He scans it, grimaces and says, "Oh, yeah. The cut-off for check-in on that flight was 5:55. I'll have to get you on another flight." Rational brain celebrates her victory in silence while delusional brain tells check-in guy it was the shuttle driver's fault I'm late. 

6:45 a.m. - made it through security and customs just in time to watch my flight take off. Delusional brain admits I may have miscalculated my perfectly-calculated timing and wonders if there is any way to blame Steve Jobs...

ย 

Do you know you're going to die today?

Do you know you're going to die today?

Sinners among us

Sinners among us